I have heard the following story a few times in the past 30 or so years, but it has come my way twice within recent weeks, so I thought I would share it with you.
If you've ever been crab fishing, you'll witness a phenomenon known as the crab mentality. This also goes by the "If I can't have it, neither can you" attitude that is so pervasive in today's jealous and selfish (I was tempted to write "shellfish") society. When crabbing, fishermen will lower a huge cage containing crab food into the ocean. Dozens of crabs will scramble into the open-top crate to feast on the cuisine at the bottom.
Frequently, one or two crabs, when finished chowing down, will begin to climb out of the barred enclosure so they can swim around or just lay on the beach for a few hours. But the rest of the group are content being fat and lazy, and watching life swim by. And they also think that their way of "life" should be observed by everyone else. With this way of thinking, the gang of crabs engage in a sort of pointless "king-of-the-hill" competition to pull those two back in so all of them will experience the same fateful demise.
The content, unmotivated crabs will actually jump on those climbing the walls in an effort to pull them back down. If the freedom-seeking crabs persist in achieving their goal, the others will start tearing off their legs so they can no longer ascend to the top. And if the independent crabs continue to exert their will, the group will actually kill them, along with their hopes of reaching their dreams.
I see this short-sighted, destructive behavior frequently when helping clients with their health and fitness goals. Friends and family members, satisfied with their own status quo, will sabotage their colleague or loved one. Sometimes it's done intentionally. I've had numerous females come to me seeking assistance, only to have their overweight, directionless husbands, boyfriends or significant others disallow them to work out. Sometimes it's done more covertly. Friends will constantly badger others to "go out for a few drinks", or will bring home fast food under the guise of "do it for me". But the underlying objective is still the same: to keep them from achieving a better life.
If you're in a relationship, be it personal or professional, where somebody is constantly attempting to derail your hopes and aspirations, GET OUT...NOW! Be relentless in your climb to the top, and don't allow anyone to pull you back down into their cage of complacency and inferiority.
Move Better. Eat Better. Live Better!
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